There are moments in yourlife you meet someone new and plan the first dates. You play in your mind how conversations will go and the “crash and burn” scenarios make you anxious. You ask your friends for advice. Most likely you will hear “Just be yourself!”.
The best advice ever. And the worst.
Be yourself means be genuine, be confident that you are valuable enough and do not try to act a version that you think will be more attractive. This comes to the area of self-esteem, self -awareness.
Awareness comes with a risc: an accurate assesment fo your current self may conclude that you present not much value to the “market”, or you do not deserve to be valuable, and, therefore, in no position to aim for a valuable counterpart. And you need to improve your market value and you may get to another risk: procrastination. You might think that your market value improvement needs a lot of effort and you might fail, might not have enough energy, might … whatever.
Being yourself is accompanied by constant honest assessment and improvement effort. There is no quick fix. No magic pill. No voodoo spell. But I can tell you that every little success will improve your spirit and motivate you to go further.
Such a positive energy and drive for success projected will turn you into “a catch” and improve your chances in succeding in your conquest.
Areas that I think are important to work on:
- dressing with style
- conversation skills
- emotional intelligence
- active relations with family/friends
You might translate “be yourself!” by “sit on your ass and do nothing, ’cause there will come somebody to like you just the way you are: lazy, in poor shape, with poor clothes and bad habits”.
And you spend you life waiting, and waiting … and getting bitter and bitter …
If you are lucky that will not happen. And if you are really really really lucky that person will really like you and will not be just an insecure person settling for you fearing they will never find somebody better.