You see in some movies ( or read in some books ) people in love starting their day and after an hour of not seeing each-other calling and having a I-miss-you-I-miss-you-even-more conversation. Or maybe you saw in real life people doing this. And you think this is so romantic. So you think about some other interactions between these “lovebirds”. And behaving according to these rituals I decided to call “the lovebirds syndrome”. Or, as some dating instructors will say, you act “needy”.
Everybody has seen these rituals and most of the people are aware of them. Now, let’s take two people, usually a man and a woman. After they spend some short quality time together ( dating ), one of them (A) starts to act according to the aforementioned rituals. And the other ( B ) doest not understand/like these rituals or does not feel like playing them with A. Being aware of the (unrealistic) expectations of A, who began the rituals, B feels pressured to respond.
Note: B may like it and respond to A positively. I think this is called “love at first sight”.
At this point, psychologists say that, if the pressure felt is strong enough, the protection mechanisms “fight or flight” take over. Here is the conclusion:
- fight: “he is a pig” / “she is a bitch”
- flight: “I’m really busy now, let’s try in a week or two, maybe …”
If my thinking is right then the people claiming “all men are pigs” / “all women are bitches” are only revealing that they act this way over and over, never taking time to understand the B people reactions, in other words not working on their emotional intelligence.